IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize