her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
