YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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