i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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