Soap is not a condiment
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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