they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
