i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
