Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think i got beer on your cat.
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