I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
