I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
