he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
