I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
