Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
