No stitches, just platelets and will power
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You are a genius and a whore.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
