Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
