i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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