Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
