Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cut my penus on the lid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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