I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
