im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
