I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
