Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
