are you so shy because you have an std?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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