In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize