Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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