Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize