NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
