So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
