I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
