Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
