you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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