the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
