My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
