In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
