I'm drive I can fine osifer
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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