I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
