Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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