It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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