so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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