and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
