do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
