were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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