In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize