eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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