Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
