Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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