My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize