He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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