i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize