im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
