JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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