we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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