Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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