she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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