is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
