The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
