The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
