Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
